VTR1000.ORG

Red one going north up aviemore high Street at about 2:45 pm
Looking good

chris vtr virgin wrote:Red one going north up aviemore high Street at about 2:45 pm
Looking good

Was there a Big Ginger Beard peeking out of the helmet ?

Not me, but I WAS up there and through about 4.30pm.

I was out at Willie Youngs in Elgin for another oil filter, and to see if he had anything to swap the Storm for. Plenty of Brit stuff I want, but waaaaaay out of my pocket money allowance.

Decided after getting a Burger King in Elgin, to run out Auldearn way, and cut across the old Grantown road, up through Aviemore/Carrbridge and home via Craigellachie and Huntly on the back roads.

If the bike had a white numberboard, a red and white leather jacket with matching backpack, a matt black helmet...and the ginger chin hair sticking 6 inches below, then yup, that may have been me. But, the time is out, so probably that maniac who bought the plain Red VTR from Willie Youngs a few weeks back

I'm easy to spot coming towards you....Sort of like this, but the helmets matt black..........

Only caught a glimpse of said bike when I was coming out of Tesco
Also think it had standard cans on
And may of been with someone else on another bike following behind

Din't have you down as the re-enactment type Dave...

Do you have the chain mail undercrackers as well ?

Or do you always walk like that...

MacV2 wrote:Din't have you down as the re-enactment type Dave...Do you have the chain mail undercrackers as well? Or do you always walk like that...

Eh? what do you mean "re-enactment"? These are me normal clothes! Oh look, there's even a hammer being worn round the neck! Vikings do like hammers y'know!

That's also why I bought a VTR. Couldn't afford a Long-boat, and the harbour fees were extortionate....

...So, the next best thing for a ginger warrior/loose cannon who likes a bit of "hammer swinging", is a VTR....which stands for Viking TRansport.

Only problem is there's not much raping and pillaging to be had, as they hear you coming well in advance with the Blueflame cans, and it gives them plenty warning to run to the hills. No chance of night invasions and sneaking up on folk.

Yes all very well but answer the question...Chain Mail undercrackers ???

MacV2 wrote:Yes all very well but answer the question...Chain Mail undercrackers ???

Oh, ok then. Seeing as your perverted, curious, warped n twisted mind asked. YES, (heavy sigh) I used to wear them on the odd occasion.

Not in winter though, as the cold weather, along with the cold metal, used to really "shrink stuff" in that department. And then I'd end up getting me willy caught in the tiny holes in the mesh.

A nightmare when you needed to take a pee real quick, as you spent ages trying carefully to extract said caught willy from the tiny tight circles of mesh. Ow...ow....OW!

The solution was to just pee through the holes whilst still wearing them. Which was also bad, cos after a while the undercrackers rusted solid. You'd then have to get someone with a grinder to cut them off. A nail biting, knee trembling ordeal. Especially if you weren't shaved down there. Which you needed to be kept as smooth as a babies elbow, or else the heat build up and the odd spark from the grinder would catch yer pubes and WHOOMPH!, the whole lot would go up!

...as demonstrated by the following "graphic and disturbingly accurate" artists impression...

"holy crap...me pubes are on fire..."

And then there's the risk itself of the grinders spinning disc at 7000rpm close to yer dangly bits. One tiny cough or sneeze from the operator will see you unable to father children ever again, whilst you're left to gather up what's left of your Richard from all 4 walls and the ceiling of the bathroom...

Oh yes!, If danger is yer middle name, then I highly recommend you try a pair!


*picture courtesy of "Madam Martys Manly Man Coverings" - Summer Catalogue Collection 2015.

TheGingerBeardMan wrote:

MacV2 wrote:Yes all very well but answer the question...Chain Mail undercrackers ???

Oh, ok then. Seeing as your perverted, curious, warped n twisted mind asked. YES, (heavy sigh) I used to wear them on the odd occasion.

Not in winter though, as the cold weather, along with the cold metal, used to really "shrink stuff" in that department. And then I'd end up getting me willy caught in the tiny holes in the mesh.

A nightmare when you needed to take a pee real quick, as you spent ages trying carefully to extract said caught willy from the tiny tight circles of mesh. Ow...ow....OW!

The solution was to just pee through the holes whilst still wearing them. Which was also bad, cos after a while the undercrackers rusted solid. You'd then have to get someone with a grinder to cut them off. A nail biting, knee trembling ordeal. Especially if you weren't shaved down there. Which you needed to be kept as smooth as a babies elbow, or else the heat build up and the odd spark from the grinder would catch yer pubes and WHOOMPH!, the whole lot would go up!

...as demonstrated by the following "graphic and disturbingly accurate" artists impression...

"holy crap...me pubes are on fire..."

And then there's the risk itself of the grinders spinning disc at 7000rpm close to yer dangly bits. One tiny cough or sneeze from the operator will see you unable to father children ever again, whilst you're left to gather up what's left of your Richard from all 4 walls and the ceiling of the bathroom...

Oh yes!, If danger is yer middle name, then I highly recommend you try a pair!


*picture courtesy of "Madam Martys Manly Man Coverings" - Summer Catalogue Collection 2015.

I really really hope that you googled that image & didn't have it as a stock photo...

MacV2 wrote:I really really hope that you googled that image & didn't have it as a stock photo...

Nope, as said under the pic: "*picture courtesy of "Madam Martys Manly Man Coverings" - Summer Catalogue Collection 2015."

Ask for a copy of the catalogue. You should get a large discount being a long standing forum member.

I hope the chainmail undercrackers can also be powder-coated to match yer bike, cos if you get a set, and we ever meet up, there's no way in Nelly I'm gonna volunteer to Autosol them for you....especially if yer going to still be wearing them at the time.....