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Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 6:02 pm
by alanfjones1411
The sixth sick sheiks sixth sheep's sick

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:07 am
by tony.mon
One of my friends posted that they're "waiting for the storm to pass"

He made enough fuss over a kidney stone, I don't hold out much hope that he'll squeeze a motorbike out without medical assistance.

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Mon May 04, 2020 11:07 pm
by tony.mon
How is it that when I spend money on bits for my wife's bike rebuild nary a word is spoken, but as soon as I want something for mine it's an extravagance?

Forgive me, for I have sinned again, buying bits that are better and shinier than the ones already on the bike.

What's that Catholic idea, where you can be forgiven anything as long as you hand over money?

Oh yes, a PayPal indulgence.

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Tue May 19, 2020 7:16 pm
by tony.mon
So there's a pub up for sale near me, well, it isn't actually up for sale but the woman that is it is looking well doddery and won't need much of a push.

So I need to make some money to buy it.

A few ideas have come to mind, but the prime candidate so far is halloumi toothpaste.

Fair enough, it's likely to taste a bit off if you were expecting mint, but it'll leave you're teeth squeaky clean, and I can guarantee a cheesy smile.

I'm looking for candidates for the clinical trials, anyone interested?





NB, there is no trials bike involved....

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2020 11:15 pm
by tony.mon
So, armadillos.
What are the ones without armour called?
They're like the slug to the snail.

Never seen one, though.
Might have died out.

RIP, illo.


Although I think Dunlop made a replica a few years back.

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2020 8:25 pm
by tony.mon
Latest money-making scheme:
Buy Tracey Emin's old house in Margate.
Property's still fairly cheap down there; I can afford it.

Then sell it off to collectors, piece by piece:

"Oh, yes, it's an original Tracey Emin, entitled "Kitchen door with knob"."

"It's a more affordable peice than her seminal "Banisters- descending", which is really only for the discernable collector with plenty of gallery space".

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:17 pm
by tony.mon
Cummings and goings in number 10.
Carrie's bored with kiddy care and wants to run the country by telling Boris what to do.

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 9:42 pm
by Dickiebig
tony.mon wrote: Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:17 pm Cummings and goings in number 10.
Carrie's bored with kiddy care and wants to run the country by telling Boris what to do.
A woman's touch......

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2020 5:51 pm
by tony.mon
So there's that advert on the telly where a cat is hypnotising a woman into feeding it.
One of our cats does that, she just looks at you without blinking for half an hour or so while you're trying to watch the telly.

She'll only eat fishy cat foods, so I suppose it's her with herring stare.

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2020 1:50 pm
by tony.mon
I hope we play charades this Christmas; I've just thought of a great mime for "A Passage Too Windier".

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2020 11:42 am
by tony.mon
Does everyone move the cursor to point up the nose of people on zoom meetings, or is it just me?

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2020 1:07 am
by tony.mon
We played family games tonight; I was given "a bridge too far".

The best I could get it down to was "2 fa".

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2020 5:40 pm
by tony.mon
So, apparently, Jesus died for our sins.

So why is it, when I sin by speeding, they also want a FINE?
Wasn't the death of our saviour enough?

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 6:03 am
by tony.mon
Trump!
Good god.

If you ever needed proof that absolute power corrupts absolutely, look up trump's entry in Wikipedia, or simply watch the news.

Isn't it about time they sent Martin Sheen up the river to deal with him, as in Apocalypse Now?

Re: *** THREAD HIJACK ***

Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 8:21 am
by MacV2
tony.mon wrote: Sat Jan 09, 2021 6:03 am Trump!
Good god.

If you ever needed proof that absolute power corrupts absolutely, look up trump's entry in Wikipedia, or simply watch the news.

Isn't it about time they sent Martin Sheen up the river to deal with him, as in Apocalypse Now?
The horror, the horror...