And finally for today.

[iggy1966]

GETTIN' ILL
-----------
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some
good news and some bad news."

Dan said, "Give me the good news."

"They're going to name a disease after you."



CAFE AU LOUT
------------
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was
to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job,
she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came
over to take her order. She asked, "Is this big enough to hold
six cups of coffee?" The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos,
hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks
like about six cups to me."

"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."



IN YOUR LIES
------------
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach
about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I
want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the
minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many
had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and
said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with
my sermon on the sin of lying."

#######################
This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front
of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into
his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy,
bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.

When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident
to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that
pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla
language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any
better and he vowed revenge.

The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats,
two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage
in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's
cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.

Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party
hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and
put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The
gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man
picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants,
and sliced it in half.

The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch,
looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.