Losing your mind
An elderly couple are having problems remembering things so they go to see a Doctor who teaches them a new object association technique which improves their memory.
Anyway, the old man is standing on his front porch bragging to a friend about the new technique.
"Sounds great" says the friend, "wouldn't mind some of that for myself. What's the name of the Doctor?"
The old man thinks for a while, "Name a flower"
"Daffodil?" says the friend
"Nah, a red flower" says the old man
"Poppy?" replies the freind
"Nah, a red flower with thorns"
"Rose?" says the friend
"Yep that's it" says the old man, who turns to the door and shouts "Rose, what was the name of that Doctor....?"
Nice pair
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. The man replies "Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere..."
Desperate
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any
sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with
her. She decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her doctor recommended she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist,
Dr.Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said,
"OK, take off all you crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said,
"OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said,
"Your probrem velly bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever
see.
Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously,
"Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied,
"Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary rike your butt."
Ivor biggun
A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist.
She asked: "Do you have Viagra?"
"Yes," he answered.
She asked, "Does it work?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
"I can if I take two," he answered