A business owner was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University
of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you $21,375 minus 2.75% how
much would you take off?
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
A biker stops by the Harley shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't
do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk
home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and
an anvil. He stopped by the livestock dealer and picked up a couple of
chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the
bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in
your other hand?"
"Hey, thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went.
But in the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told
him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 16
Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 160 Mockingbird
Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a
lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we
get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my
skirt, and ravish me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil,
two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I
possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the
anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."