Request for pay rise!!!

[iggy1966]

> I, the chipolata, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:-
>
> I do physical labour.
> I work at great depths.
> I plunge head first into everything I do.
> I do not get weekends off.
> I work in a damp environment.
> I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> I work in high temperatures.
>
> The reply


> Dear chipolata
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
> raised, management rejects your request for the following reasons:-
>
> You do not work 8 hours straight.
> You fall asleep after brief work periods.
> You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
> locations.
> You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
> order to start working.
> You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
> correct protective clothing.
> You will retire well before 65.
> You are unable to work double shifts.
> You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
> the assigned task.
> And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
> exiting the work place carrying two suspicious looking bags.
>
> Sincerely
> The Management