> The following are all replies that women have put on Child Support
> Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:
> These are genuine excerpts from the forms (names removed).
>
> 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
> fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the
> father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same
> night.
>
> 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
> being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
> provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the
> party if this helps.
>
> 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
> conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected
> sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so
> good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can
> you send me his phone number? Thanks.
>
> 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives
> a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door
> panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and
> see if he's had it replaced.
>
> 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
> Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he
> is Christ risen again.
>
> 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that
> to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
> implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right
> by you and right by the country. Please advise.
>
> 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
> the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
>
> 8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him
> can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
>
> 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
> EuroDisney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
>
> 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I
> remember for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier
> in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than
> going to the party at [address given], mine might have remained
> unfertilised.
>
> 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after
> all when you eat a tin of beans you can't be sure which one made you
> fart