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One of my favorite holiday pastimes is teaching children the
true meaning of Christmas. Some people delight in telling
children that Santa does not exist. Actually, it is much more
fun to reinforce the story of Santa, and the valuable lessons
we can learn from him.
I ask them if they ever noticed how Santa brings better gifts
to wealthy kids. This is because Santa loves the rich more than
the poor. Do they know why that is? It's because that's
how God feels.
Christmas also teaches us the importance of chopping down
trees, displaying them in our homes for a week, and then
throwing them away. So, another important Christmas lesson is
that nature is for our amusement, and it's disposable.
If Santa gives away all of his toys, how does he pay the elves?
He doesn't. They are slaves. Even P Diddy pays his employees
3 cents an hour in his foreign sweatshops. Our final holiday
message is that slavery is OK.
To really reinforce what Christmas is about, show them animated
Christmas specials. While these specials seem to have positive
messages, it is only if you watch them all the way through. You
should be sure and turn them off with 10 minutes left, because that
is where the lies start. As soon as the Grinch successfully steals
Christmas, turn off the TV. When Frosty melts, it's time for bed.
I know it seems harsh, but that's life.
I know what you're thinking. Won't this backfire? Won't some of
them become Jews? This is doubtful. Hanukah really sucks. It
is all about spinning wooden tops and eating big crackers. And they
won't become Muslims either, because they celebrate by strapping
on bombs and blowing themselves up.
Happy Holidays!
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TJ