Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

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Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by tony.mon » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:56 am

I'm getting in early.

I'm bored with Christmas already, as it started in September again this year.
Other people's religious observances are being forced upon me yet again, and I don't even like humbugs due the the teeth aging a bit these days.

So I thought I'd start a revolution.

Fixing the NHS can't be that difficult.
It's like the ever-open mouth of a toddler in a sweet shop, it's never going to have enough money spent on it.

But with a little effort, a lot of the governmental targets can be met without extra spending.
And that, fellow taxpayers, is a Good Thing.

The news channels are forever banging on about people on trolleys in corridors waiting for hours to be seen. The government have set targets, they want it reduced or stopped altogether.

This can easily be fixed: rename the corridors as passageways. Also, swap the trolleys for deckchairs.
I've never heard of a target to eradicate patient waiting times waiting in passageways on deckchairs, have you?

Obviously at some stage legislation will catch up, and the perhaps we can move to patients being given multiple free goes on fairground roundabouts in the car park.
There's no need for expensive rebranding consultants, unless they would like to consider me as an expert in the field and reward my ideas appropriately; so there's another saving.

And if you're feeling poorly, isn't it a pleasant distraction finding out what the latest hospital target avoidance technique is?
Actually, it occurs to me that the biggest danger is attracting people who aren't ill but are consumed by curiosity.

For those people, after triage, (why is there only one person doing triage? Monoage, surely?) we could build a new Corridor- note the capital "C" which again stops it being caught under the current rules- where those persons can be charged a fee to undergo a "wellness experience", raising more money.

To reduce operation waiting lists, merely discourage folk from wanting one in the first place.
Alright, some are going to be essential, but after all, hip replacements and ingrowing toenail ops, mot to mention cosmetic surgery, where people have their old makeup removed surgically, we don't need most of those.

I think if we make it less attractive some people will cancel and put up with their condition.

So I propose, instead of hospital radio, hospital television, where all procedures are shown live to a free-to-view channel.
Sure, we will need to invest in the TV technology, but you could borrow the down-your-throat-and-up-your-arris cameras to get started, we could sack the radio staff to release funds and Radio One will just have to recruit like normal organisations in future.
Also, when getting patients into their operation gown, clip on a battery -powered buzzer and give them some tweezers with a wire attached. Tell them it's really important, just as they're going under, to hand this to the doctor wearing the mirror on his head.

I think this would be more popular than some game show- after all, the stakes are higher.

In fact, sod the free-to-view bit, sell it to Sky and before long well have the NHS back into profit.

There, that wasn't difficult, was it?

In the next enthralling episode I will Fix Religion and Eradicate Terrorism.
It's a toofer deal as it's Christmas!

By for now, stay tuned-
Tony, reporting for the why does it always have to be me what thinks of all the answers channel.
Last edited by tony.mon on Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by grumpyfrog » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:09 am

Tonys treated himself to a Special mushroom omelette for breakfast again??

Today could be entertaining....
Don't hassle me
I'll get there at some time

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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by alanfjones1411 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:35 am

Wow. Now that's a rant.

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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by fabiostar » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:56 am

quality rant tony... do carry on :clap: .
the older i get,the faster i was :lol:

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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by AMCQ46 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:12 pm

has cybercarl handed over the space cadet baton?

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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by lloydie » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:01 pm

AMCQ46 wrote:has cybercarl handed over the space cadet baton?
Just the space cakes I think !!

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Re: Pre-emptive New Year revolutions

Post by Flatline » Sun Dec 24, 2017 5:40 pm

Certainly space for something in there :lol:

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