A smattering of Crap jokes: No.396 n' 3 quarters.

[TheGingerBeardMan]

A male tourist is walking through the red light district in Amsterdam, when he sees a fine looking lady in a room overlooking the street.

He approaches her, and taps on the window.

"How Much?", he asks.

"2000 Euros", the woman replies.

He returns with: "Wow! that's quite expensive, isn"t it?"

"Yes'' she says, ''but it is double-glazed''.

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A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks the barman for an innuendo...... So he gave her one.

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Mary had a little skirt,
with a slit right up both sides.
And everytime that Mary walked,
you could see her lovely thighs.

But Mary had another skirt,
with a slit right up the front.....


She didnt wear that one as often.

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I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £50.

Is that 2 deer?

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I know a vampire who has this insane urge to collect loads of mirrors.

I don't know what he sees in them to be honest!

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A drunk staggers into the back of a taxi.

He leans towards the driver and asks: "Excuse me. Have you got room for a lobster and 3 bottles of wine on your front seat?"

''I think so," says the driver

"Oh good," replies the drunk....and throws up.

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I had a knock at my door earlier. It was a policeman.

"Mr Cook?"

"Yes," I replied.

"I'm afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike."

I said, "That"s rubbish! - my dog doesn"t even have a bike!"

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According to Oxfam, 2 pounds a month can provide water for a whole village in Tanzania.

So why do Scottish Water charge me 30 quid a month for my 2 bed attatched?

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My ex-wife had a good tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.

It was so realistic looking, if you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.

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I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today''...

...''but I was mistaken. I looked again, and what it actually said was: "Thick Cut".

[lloydie]

Just want you need in the morning ! A good giggle at crap jokes

[alanfjones1411]

Very good.

[MacV2]

'Crap joke' is a registerd trade mark of Frank & Mac's Industries International Corp.

Sue,Grabbit & Run partners in Law are currently drawing up papers...

[TheGingerBeardMan]

'Crap joke' is a registered trade mark of Farnk & Mac's Industries International Corp.

Sue,Grabbit & Run partners in Law are currently drawing up papers...

PHEW! - That's a relief!

For a minute, I thought I encroached on your territory, but it appears to be a similar Company called Farnk & Macs.

Oh, well, there's no need for me to employ MY Japanese Solicitor: Mr. So-Su Me



And do I not get a point for describing a word that has roach in it? (from your Pest Controllers point of view, not a roll over n' get stoned one).