Lucas electrics

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exTRX850
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:10 am
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Lucas electrics

Post by exTRX850 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 4:54 am

• Mr Lucas: "Prince of Darkness"
• The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark".
• Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they do still have a claim to "sudden, unexpected darkness."
• Lucas -- inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
• Lucas -- inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
• The three-position Lucas switch -- DIM, FLICKER and OFF
• The other three switch settings -- SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
• The original anti-theft devices -- Lucas Electric products.
• "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...."
• If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
• Did you hear about the Lucas-powered torpedo? It sank.
• It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
• Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner, "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens anyway!"
• Back in the '60s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.
• Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.
• Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes refrigerators, too.
• Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.
• Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."
• Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
• When taking a comfort stop on the route always walk away from the vehicle down wind at least 100 metres before emptying bladder. This will help alleviate the ingress of moisture into the electrical system and allow you to maybe continue your journey.
• Electrons flow through conventional wiring at the speed of light. In Lucas products, they travel at the speed of dark.


- as pinched from - https://www.pprune.org/archive/index.php/t-440893.html
as seen on a low doorway lintel a long time ago, far, far away - "be kind to your mind"

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AMCQ46
Posts: 14224
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 3:54 pm
Location: Worcestershire / Warwickshire border

Re: Lucas electrics

Post by AMCQ46 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:38 am

I worked for Lucas ............. I am contacting the lawyers :D
AMcQ

exTRX850
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:10 am
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Re: Lucas electrics

Post by exTRX850 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:33 pm

as seen on a low doorway lintel a long time ago, far, far away - "be kind to your mind"

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8541Hawk
Posts: 1455
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:21 am
Location: Lake View Terrace,Ca

Re: Lucas electrics

Post by 8541Hawk » Mon Feb 12, 2018 5:10 pm

Image
To err is human, to forgive is divine. Neither, however, is Marine Corps policy

kenmoore
Posts: 538
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:25 am

Re: Lucas electrics

Post by kenmoore » Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:12 am

Hey Hawk,

That is farkin funny. :thumbup:
South Coast
New South Wales
Australia

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