VTR1000.ORG

I sold my VTR about 2 1/2 years ago when we moved house, and aside from a brief fling with a Fireblade I've been out of the motorcycling world since then. After a late-night browsing of the local auction site, and probably one or two too many beers I'm now the proud owner of another one! This is a 2...

My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers around my ankles and my rock out, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out......

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person came t...

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sittin...

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When t...

Saw not one but two yellow VTR's yesterday. One was travelling south on SH1, the other was on the 22 into Pukekohe. Anyone on here? The other associated conversation was my wife saying "That sounds nice, you ought to get one of those" "I have" "No, I don't mean a motorbike, ...

The time has come to sell my VTR As in my avatar, it's a yellow 02 model with about 80,000 k's on the clock. Lovely condition. Fitted with shortie levers, lever guards, crash bungs, swing-arm spools, HEL brake and clutch lines, scottoiler. One-off polished aluminium hugger and chainguard. WOF & ...

After his medical exam the doctor said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with h...

macdee wrote:
Legendlives you're a Richard
Legendlives your a Richard

Both seem right to me

I'm only trying to educate the great unwashed.
Some people just do not appreciate constructive criticism........

Oh, and 'legendlives' uses a lower case 'l'

Peasants!

macdee wrote:

tony.mon wrote:

macdee wrote:I am all so responsible for the deaths of may a chicken

And during the other months you're a vegetarian?

need to fix that
its hard trying and be funny when your stu pid

*it's* *you're*

MacV2 wrote:

tony.mon wrote:I try to raise the intellectual standards, wherever possible.
A lost cause, I know, but still, I try....

Your very trying ...

*You're*
I try to raise the intellectual standards, wherever possible.

A man boarded a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to, of all people a beautiful blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde...

I said to my mate, "I can remember the first time I visited Paris, I found it very hard to leave."

He said, "Did you fall in love with the place?"

I said, "No, I had my car stolen."

My missus says that I keep pushing her buttons.


If that were true I'm sure I would have found 'mute' by now!

Said to the wife, "I've bought 2 tickets for the cinema tonight." "But what about the kids?" She asked. I said, "I've ordered that baby sitter from number 76 to come round." She said, "Is that the young, pretty, blonde one with the big boobs?" "Yes,"...