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I almost overdosed on Viagra the other night.




The wife took it very hard.....

"Go on," I said to the wife, "let me see your sex face."

"No!" she snarled.

"There, wasn't too difficult, was it?"

My wife left me because keep hiding her wheelchair.

It's OK though, 'cos she always keeps crawling back.......

Groan......

My wife was feeling really horny. She wanted me to slip her a length, the trouble was, I didn't feel like it. I just wanted to read. But as I was reading, every so often, I would reach over, and rub her 'down there'. After a while, she said, "If you don't want to have sex , will you stop teasin...

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO'S Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told...

Followed you up until you turned off towards Maraetai. I was on my yellow one.

Cost me a fortune this week...
My Facebook went down so I had to phone everyone to see what they were having for tea.

Big_Jim59 wrote:Good one but uniquely British.

I resemble that remark!

I phoned my wife earlier. "I'm just setting off from work, do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?"

It was met with a stony silence.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, but I gave her superglue by mistake.....





....She's still not talking to me......

My wife is in very bad shape and is currently attached to a machine that keeps her alive.









The refrigerator.

OldFart wrote:How deep did you drill the hole, as that would be helpful. many thanks

The hole goes straight through the walls of the swing-arm. Wall thickness is only about 4mm.

Thanks for the nice comments guys.
It's good to be appreciated!